The Keys to Health and Happiness: Nurturing a Healthy Body, a Creative Mind, a Loving Heart, and a Peaceful Soul
Part Two: Caring for Your Relationship with Your Life Partner
written by Joanne Delmonico, 2014
In part one of this article, I stated: “Happiness is in the sweet spot created by the blending and balancing of a healthy body, a creative mind, a loving heart, and a peaceful soul.” The focus of part one was self-care and included some tips for nurturing a healthy and resilient body, mind, heart, and soul. Self-care is also your starting point for finding happiness in your love relationship.
Part Two: Caring for Your Relationship with Your Life Partner
written by Joanne Delmonico, 2014
In part one of this article, I stated: “Happiness is in the sweet spot created by the blending and balancing of a healthy body, a creative mind, a loving heart, and a peaceful soul.” The focus of part one was self-care and included some tips for nurturing a healthy and resilient body, mind, heart, and soul. Self-care is also your starting point for finding happiness in your love relationship.
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Equally as important to having a regular, self-care, stress management program integrated into your daily activities, is practicing stress management techniques to prevent the negative impact that the effects of stress have on your love relationship. In part two, I explore some ideas for nurturing your relationship through the same context of a healthy body, creative mind, loving heart, and peaceful soul.
Healthy Body
Since stress can cause physical, emotional, and behavioral reactions, it is not uncommon for us to take out our discomfort on the people we love the most. When your boss or a coworker does something to trigger a stress reaction, you typically don’t behave badly at work... you save it until you get home and your life partner does too. Work together, as a team, to overcome the obstacles to relationship bliss that bringing your work stress home can cause!
Here are my tips for nurturing two healthy bodies in your love relationship:
Creative Mind
Because the release of stress hormones sends blood and oxygen to your extremities, the center for logical thinking in your brain becomes a little neglected. It is difficult to think clearly in those moments and your communication skills suffer. Deep breathing helps to introduce oxygen back into the brain. Also, it’s important for you and your life partner to keep your minds and communication skills sharp regularly, so that you will stay sharp under extreme stress. Just as you exercise your bodies, you will benefit by exercising your brains together.
Here are my tips for nurturing two creative minds in your love relationship:
Loving Heart
For some folks, the “Flight” in “Fight or Flight” is synonymous with withdrawing from the person they love the most. That type of retreat from a loved one is painful for both parties. By staying in sync with each other on an emotional/heart level, that pain can be avoided and the healing can begin sooner, rather than later. Showing compassion and empathy to each other can turn a stressful situation into an opportunity to strengthen the relationship.
Here are my tips for nurturing two loving hearts in your love relationship:
Peaceful Soul
Do you know how your life partner finds and sustains a sense of peace? Explore the answers to this question. Be in the moment with her or him. These are the moments that create our profound and enduring memories.
Here are my tips for nurturing two peaceful souls in your love relationship:
As in part one of this article, meditation appears on every list. While meditation is a personal practice in silence and stillness, meditating with your life partner can be a powerful experience and can draw you closer together. I cannot think of a greater commitment to the health and well-being of your relationship than when you both share a goal to manage your stress, nurture healthy bodies, minds, hearts, and souls, and make your relationship a priority.
This is the third in a series of articles on stress management. In the next article, I will explore the question: How do you find peace? Go to next article...
Healthy Body
Since stress can cause physical, emotional, and behavioral reactions, it is not uncommon for us to take out our discomfort on the people we love the most. When your boss or a coworker does something to trigger a stress reaction, you typically don’t behave badly at work... you save it until you get home and your life partner does too. Work together, as a team, to overcome the obstacles to relationship bliss that bringing your work stress home can cause!
Here are my tips for nurturing two healthy bodies in your love relationship:
- Meditate (individually or together)
- Support and encourage each other’s well-being and stress management activities
- Exercise together
- Shop for and cook nutritious meals together
- Make an effort to be attractive to each other and not take each other for granted
- Be physically intimate, including touching, kissing, massage
- Show appreciation for each other’s efforts
- Have fun and laugh together
- Play nurse/caregiver to each other when one of you is sick or hurt
- Communicate about and fulfill each other’s sexual needs and desires
Creative Mind
Because the release of stress hormones sends blood and oxygen to your extremities, the center for logical thinking in your brain becomes a little neglected. It is difficult to think clearly in those moments and your communication skills suffer. Deep breathing helps to introduce oxygen back into the brain. Also, it’s important for you and your life partner to keep your minds and communication skills sharp regularly, so that you will stay sharp under extreme stress. Just as you exercise your bodies, you will benefit by exercising your brains together.
Here are my tips for nurturing two creative minds in your love relationship:
- Meditate
- Discuss your values, beliefs, interests, and hobbies and spend time pursuing them together
- Communicate openly and listen to each other’s deep and intimate thoughts
- Communicate about how you communicate (called meta-communication)
- Practice creative problem solving, even for your relationship issues
- Make decisions together after exploring both perspectives and other alternatives
- Resolve conflict by searching for deeper understanding and finding common ground
- Challenge each other’s ego assumptions
- Realize that your intent does not always match the impact on your partner
- Socialize with other kindred spirits, as a couple and individually
Loving Heart
For some folks, the “Flight” in “Fight or Flight” is synonymous with withdrawing from the person they love the most. That type of retreat from a loved one is painful for both parties. By staying in sync with each other on an emotional/heart level, that pain can be avoided and the healing can begin sooner, rather than later. Showing compassion and empathy to each other can turn a stressful situation into an opportunity to strengthen the relationship.
Here are my tips for nurturing two loving hearts in your love relationship:
- Meditate
- Look for the good in others
- Focus on each other’s strengths, assets, contributions
- Forgive and ask for forgiveness
- Avoid judging and negativity
- Know that optimism is contagious
- Avoid trying to control each other by complaining, criticizing, nagging, blaming, threatening, punishing, and bribing (from the 7 deadly habits of external control as written by Dr. William Glasser)
- Practice demonstrating love by respecting, trusting, accepting, listening, encouraging, supporting, and valuing differences (the 7 caring habits by Dr. William Glasser)
- Show gratitude for the love your receive
Peaceful Soul
Do you know how your life partner finds and sustains a sense of peace? Explore the answers to this question. Be in the moment with her or him. These are the moments that create our profound and enduring memories.
Here are my tips for nurturing two peaceful souls in your love relationship:
- Meditate
- Be comfortable in the silence of the moment
- Engage in spiritual activities together
- Allow each other the space and time to develop a peaceful state of mind/being
- Share your dreams for the future
- Spend time together in nature
- Respect each other’s values
- Value each other’s individuality and freedom
As in part one of this article, meditation appears on every list. While meditation is a personal practice in silence and stillness, meditating with your life partner can be a powerful experience and can draw you closer together. I cannot think of a greater commitment to the health and well-being of your relationship than when you both share a goal to manage your stress, nurture healthy bodies, minds, hearts, and souls, and make your relationship a priority.
This is the third in a series of articles on stress management. In the next article, I will explore the question: How do you find peace? Go to next article...